Lead Me, Lord...

It's hard to know the first step

When I don't know the way

Each turn is so uncertain

I learn to walk by faith

But You gave me a promise

That You will never leave

That You will lead and guide me

Lord, I do believe

Lead me, Lord

I will follow

Lead me, Lord

I will go

You have called me

I will answer

Lead me, Lord

I will go

Your plans for me are perfect

I never need to fear

For though at times I feel alone

I know that You are near

My heart just longs to follow

I'm willing to obey

Take my hand and lead me

I'll follow all the way

Lead me, Lord

I will follow

Lead me, Lord

I will go

You have called me

I will answer

Lead me, Lord

I will go

      I woke up this morning with this song on my heart. I just want this to be my prayer. No matter what difficulties come my way in life, no matter what challenges I face, no matter what happens...I need to trust the Lord - that He knows the way, that He is leading me, and that He definitely knows what is best. The first verse of this song really speaks to me. It is easy to trust, when you know what's going to happen. It's easy to let someone lead you somewhere, if you can see what's coming. But try putting on a blindfold. It's so much more difficult to trust someone when you are completely helpless. It's like that way with life. I have a blindfold on. I can't see what tomorrow holds and what tomorrow may bring. But God already knows. I just need to learn to trust Him with everything in my life.

I Have Made My Decision....

I have made my decision

I have staked my claim

I have drawn a line

In the sand

And I won't be ashamed

With the world behind me

And the cross before

By the grace of God

I will serve the Lord

      This song has been on my mind a lot the last few days. I love the message it gives. Lately, when I have been singing it around my house and stuff (thankfully, no one has been here to hear me), I have kind of been singing it to the devil. I know that might sound weird. But I have been wanting him to know that my mind is made up. There is nothing he can do to me to make me give up. I'll be honest, there have been many times in my life when I have just wanted to give up. I have wanted to "throw in the towel." I'm sure some, if not all, of you have been there too. But the last few days, I have been singing this song and letting satan know that I am not giving up. I have made my decision. I will serve the Lord. No matter what. No matter who of my friends and family decide to give up this fight and quit this race, I will not. I will keep on fighting. I will not give up. My decision is made. By the grace of God, I will serve the Lord.

The Spirit of Fear...

"For God hath not given us  the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 

2 Timothy 1:7

      
      I have had this verse on my mind a LOT today. I am so thankful that God has not given us the spirit of fear. So many times, we get afraid of something - sometimes it's a "natural" fear: the fear of heights, the fear of insects/reptiles, etc. And, other times, it's a fear that the devil has put on us. For instance, there have been several church services that I remember being a part of and the Spirit of God will start to move in a very strong way, and I'd look over and see someone (sometimes a visitor, sometimes not) shaking with fear. What is that? It's the devil trying to convince that person that whatever is going on there is not something that he/she wants to be a part of. That's basically it. I've seen it. I'm sure you have seen it - if you have been around the church for a while. You may not know what's going on, but that's it. They will be shaking with fear. The Bible says that God hath not given us the spirit of fear. That's right. Fear is a spirit. We, as humans, don't like to talk a whole lot about spirits. We get intimidated. I'm guessing it's because we don't really know a whole lot about them and, because of that, they intimidate us. There is another verse in the Bible that says,

 "For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba Father."

Romans 8:15

      Jesus is our Father. He is someone we can go to with whatever we are feeling. I know there are some who, when they think of their earthly father, do NOT want to refer to Jesus as their Father. Simply because their earthly father has not been a father. But, the great thing about Jesus is - He isn't "JUST" our Father...He is our EVERYTHING! Anything and everything that we need...it is found in Jesus. If fear is holding us captive, then we need to get a hold of our Father and beg Him to take that away. I've seen kids with their dad's because...if they want something bad enough, it is VERY difficult (and nearly impossibly) for their dad's to say "no"...they try to, but if the child wants it bad enough, then they will keep persisting and, after a while, the dad has no choice but to give in. Why? Because they love their children and want them to have everything that child's heart desires. 

      I guess that's just something I have been thinking about and so I figured I would put that on here...I hope everyone is having a great day! God bless!

PEYTON PICS!!!!

I just wanted to put some pictures up here of my awesome niece, Peyton :) There are a few from the day she was born-7 days old. Then a few of when she was up to about 6 months old. She is the cutest baby I have ever known. I love her so much! I can't believe that she will be turning 1 year old in just over a month. CRAZY!

I Need Your Mercy

I need Your mercy

I need Your grace

I need Your Hand

Leading the way

I can't make it without You

Not for one day

I need Your mercy

I need Your grace

      I have had this song stuck in my head for most of the day. You know, so many times, people think about the judgement of God - and that's not necessarily a bad thing to do, because we will definitely be judged by God one day. But God is also a merciful God. His mercy goes beyond our understanding...beyond our comprehension. When I was younger, every time I would hear the word "mercy", I would think of a game we used to play (or, I'm sure, some of us still play every once in a while!). I never really knew what mercy meant. 

      Webster's Dictionary defines mercy as: compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power; a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion 

      I know this doesn't really define God's mercy near to its extent. But, today, I have been really thankful for the mercy of God. We, as humans, do bad things. It happens. We mess up. Like I said, we are humans. But, our God is merciful.

      I am just really thankful for the mercy of God. Jesus, I need Your mercy and I need You grace. I honestly, like the song says, can't make it without You - not for one day. Thank You, Lord, for Your Mercy.

Burdened

      Last night, I didn't get a wink of sleep. I lay in bed almost all night long just thinking about different things. I got up this morning and felt very burdened for a dear friend of mine. I have been missing this person so much the last few weeks....but today, especially. I can't really describe the feeling that I have, except to say that I am incredibly burdened. I'd like to think that I have been friends with this person for about 11 years, or so. There have been times when this person was the only one I could talk to, when I felt that this person was the only one who really understood how I was feeling, etc. I'd like to believe that we are still friends - however, we are not near as close as we once were (time does that, I guess). I love this person and this person will always have a special place in my life and in my heart.

      My husband wrote this poem last night and it really explains how I have been feeling about quite a few people in my life. He did a good job at writing it - but even this poem can not convey the true emotions of how he was feeling last night...and how I have been feeling as well. Anyways, I just wanted to share this poem....

You were there at the altar when I gave Him my all
You were the crowd around me when I walked through the mall

We talked and laughed and prayed together
And for Him we said we'd live forever

We chatted online though miles apart
Letters I wrote that conveyed all my heart

But now that time has rolled gently on
I look back at years in my life's dawn

I'm still here trusting what I thought then was true
And hoping and wishing I could say the same of you

You had the same teaching and doctrine I did
How did you lose it, from when we were kids?

And though I'm so thankful for all I've received
I can't help but wonder: Was I the only one who really believed?

Written By: Kraig A. Rucker

Jan-16-2012

2011

      So, I have been thinking, the last couple of weeks, about how I would sum up 2011...and then write it on here. However, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to forget it...

      2011, for me, was one of the hardest years I have ever had. Not really for any specific reason, but when I look back on 2011, I never want to go through what I went through again. 2011 was a very difficult year for me. Some of you know quite a bit about it, some of you know a little bit about it, and others of you know nothing about it. I am not really going to go into any details on here, except to say that I never want to go through that again. And, thankfully, I don't have to. 2011 is in the past and it is going to stay there (can I get a witness?!?). LOL.

      The first part of my year went great. I went back to school (RCC) in January and stayed in school through both Winter and Spring terms...I got on the honor roll and that was nice :) I took a Math class (each term) with Shaikell and, ever since then, we have become pretty close. I am thankful for that. She has been my sounding board quite a bit. And, I honestly don't know that we would be as close as we are now if it were not for us taking Math together. I had a work at home job, which I really enjoyed. My niece was born in February and that made life great as well! I mean, yeah, I had struggles just like anyone else, but my life seemed to be doing pretty good. Then, sometime toward the end of June, stuff started happening and, without going into much detail, it felt like my life was spiraling downhill. And fast. Some people see, on Facebook, that I give a lot of "shout-outs" to my Pastor and his awesome wife. Well, that is because I owe them...a lot. They, along with my husband, were there for me...a lot. I don't know how I would have survived these last 6 months or so without them. 'nuff said there.

      So, I guess, if I were to sum up the year 2011, I would say that it was full of memories - both bitter and sweet. There were times, this last year, that I laughed harder than I had ever laughed before (mostly with Shaikell, I would have to say). And then there were also been times, this last year, that I have cried harder than I had ever cried before. There are one or two things that I regret about this last year; but, for the most part, I would have to say that I am thankful for everything that happened. Not necessarily for the sake of having those experiences, but for the relationships that were formed due to the experiences. I believe that, because of some of the things I went through, there are a few relationships that are stronger than they were before. I am also learning (very slowly, but surely) to trust again. It has not been easy (can I hear an "Amen" from those who know what I am talking about?), and it is not over yet; but, I trust, it has been worth it.

      Going into 2012, I would appreciate your prayers. There are still a few things that I am trying to get "ironed out," etc...I am hoping and praying that this year will trump last year by a long shot :) God bless all y'all :)

No Sweeter Name

No sweeter name than the Name of Jesus, no sweeter name have I ever known
No sweeter name than the Name of Jesus
No sweeter name than the Name of Jesus, no sweeter name have I ever known
No sweeter name than the Name of Jesus


You are the life to my heart and my soul
You are the light to the darkness around me
You are the hope to the hopeless and broken
You are the only truth and the way


Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
Jesus, You are the life to my heart and my soul
Jesus, You are the light to the darkness around me
Jesus, You are the hope to the hopeless and broken
Jesus, You are the only truth and the way